How to Deal With Verbal Aggression by Robert Agar-Hutton

Get this great book here!

gar-Hutton is an Englishman with a background from martial arts (karate and tai chi), a former accountant and software programmer. He runs the company Protectics, working as a consultant within the field of conflict and stress management, in dealing with aggressive behaviour.

According to the preface this book is primarily targeted towards dealing with aggressive people in the context of work. Even so it is equally valid in a personal contexts, relating to family, friends and strangers. This I readily can testify to, the principles are just that: principles. The basis of good communication is needed everywhere to avoid frustration and possibel aggression.

This is a workbook, where different tasks are given in each chapter. The author begins with looking at some of the causes to anger. Here he looks at anger as a secondary emotion, following (most often) being scared, being hurt or being ignored. He ties this in with our fight-flight responses.

After that Agar-Hutton show the various ways in which we express anger. As you surely are aware of, not everyone explodes in verbal anger or rage. Some may withdraw, some may use irony or criticism, others can use physical violence aso.

From here on the book is about practical methodes of dealing with verbal aggression. This may indeed be termed "verbal self-defense", since any verbal conflict may escalate into something more threatening and maybe also dangerous all together.

He has a brief look at the term Cybernetics, and how this fits in with conflict management. Amongst other things cybernetics states that the part or person with the highest degree of flexibility and variation will be able to determine the outcome (being in control). Agar-Hutton then goes on to discuss various practical verbal and non-verbal methods.

To yours truly, who works with conflict management as a consultant on a daily basis, there is a lot of things here that are familiar. Even so there are also new and interesting angles and things here and there that are quite new and refreshing. Even quite obvious things can prove beneficial because of the way they are presented, or as a result of the context in which they are given.  The key to new knowledge is very often how familiar things are handed over in a systematical or a different format. This book is very clear and systematic, and should prove valuable to you - no matter your level of experience.

There are lots of sound advice, and methods that will work in this book. For example to ask a question in such a way that the other person has a good reason (for him or her) to answer. The author calls this smart questions. There are many people working with support, with clients, with customers or within public, private or corporate service that could need a solid dose of a book such as this - or that could use a seminar or two!

This is a pdf-format e-book, that I can recommend to you. It is easy (and quick) to get hold of it on the Net by clicking here - convenient if you are in a hurry! You will need Acrobat Reader to be able to read pdf files. Most computers have this installed. However, should you need it, you can get it for free by clicking here.

Back to the page: books (click here)